Focused.  My clearly blinded eyes seek the current.  I swim, floating in a quagmire of ineptitude.  Searching frantically for a faster way to drown, I grasp at a lifeline…my last.  Engaged to a life of solitude, I beg of you - leave me be.  My happiness prepares the stage for drama and I thought I purchased tickets for a comedy.  And the latest part of me hesitates to join the family, denial has borne fruit.

Embrace decisions and reject justifications.  Your life is your own and need not be explained to me.  I found someone hiding within me, and they will not speak to me.  I would despair but that was never a part of my character.  Love…no, that was not a part of my character either.  You taught me to teach, yet you refused to be my first student. 

Wondering what it means, wondering if I have become a prose that simple – I…I…I…pause, looking into a candle burning low, wondering why I ever put fingers to keys.  I translate pieces of my soul – the colors of my life – the discordant melody masterfully composed into a brilliant symphony…bringing my blank canvas to life.  Living, breathing…and I am saddened.  What lives, dies. 

I return to my candle, burning low…waiting for the moment that the flame is extinguished.  As do you…stranger of my flesh…as do you.  Cold winds blow souls around me – why can’t I be seen?  The flame dances to the click-clack of the keys – my acoustic guitar – will you sing with me?  I will return…like a taste of honey.  And I will ride this pain like a wave, hoping I don’t get lost.  I would call upon you…but…I’m afraid I’ll be the one that can’t let go…